Video: FIRST PERSON SHOOTERS SUCK!
-Agh, quit camping, you stupid noobs! -Shut up! -All right, guys. The video game industry is sucking right now, so we have to come up with something fresh. No more stupid first-person shooters like Call of Duty. So if you have any ideas that even somewhat resemble Call of Duty, you just throw those out right now. [papers clatter to floor] Does anyone have any fresh ideas? 'Cause if you don't, I'm gonna have to fire all of you. -But I have children. -Then I'll fire them too! -Oh, I think I got one. Um, it's called Shadow Man. So you play this guy and you have to avoid shadows.
If you touch any, you die. -So, it's a platformer. -Exactly. Then, later in the game, you pick up this AK-47 and you have to shoot your way out of the nightmare! -Damn it, no! No more shooters! -Yeah, and BTW, it was an AK-74U, not an AK-47, douche-nozzle! -It's clearly an AK-47 with a collapsible stock. Just 'cause you play Call of Duty, it doesn't make you a weapons expert. -Yes, it does! -Guys, shut the f–k up! Does anyone have any ideas for a game that doesn't involve shooting? -I've got an idea. It's called Candy Land… Modern Candy Fair. -That sounds like a shooter. -No… it's for kids who like… candy… and… lands. In this game, you're the candy man and your goal is to collect as many white marshmallows as possible, while avoiding black ones. And, best of all, once you collect 11 white marshmallows in a row, you can call in an AC-130, you —- [boom!] -If I hear about one more Call of Duty ripoff, I'm gonna jump off that f–king window! -[chuckles] We're on the first floor.
-You're fired! -Well, if you're gonna fire him, you're gonna have to fire me too! -Okay. -S–t! -You. You better give me an idea right now. -Uh… uh… I got it. What about Call of Duty– [gunshot, groans] -That's it. The gaming industry is doomed. [sobs quietly] -Snacks, anyone? -You! You must have an idea. Please. Please help me. -Well, I did have this one idea for a game, but… it doesn't involve shooting. -Okay. Go on. -Well, it's about a father who lost his daughter in a paranormal accident which left him with strange powers. -That's freaking brilliant! What's it called? -Magic Daddy Rescue Force? -I love it. Together, you and I are gonna change this world. Just you wait and see. -Uh..
. can I go home? -Shut the f–k up! [gunshot] Owned! -You got any cool new video games? -Yeah, we got this cool new one here called, uh, Magic Daddy Rescue Force. Check it out. -Lame! Call of Duty 12? I'll take it! -To see bloopers and a deleted scene, click the link in the description below! -We certainly are gonna change this world. -Click the subscribe button to call in an AC-130 and f–k that s–t up! Captioned by SpongeSebastian.